Avevo deciso di non farne un racconto, perchè sarebbe stato troppo triste. Ma poi Felicia ha scritto un pezzo...
La settimana scorsa uno dei nostri amici qui a Pohnpei si è tolto la vita. È stata un’azione a lungo pianificata di cui molti di noi erano in qualche modo a conoscenza, dato che lui ne aveva parlato per mesi. David Megaw era bello, brillante, educato e gentile. Ma soffriva di depressione sin dall’adolescenza. I suoi genitori hanno scritto una lettera che è stata letta durante il memorial - la cerimonia tenutasi all’Università della Micronesia dove David insegnava – dicendo che nessuno di noi deve sentirsi in colpa, perchè non c’era nulla che noi avremmo potuto fare. David ha aspettato che la sua migliore amica (ed ex-fidanzata) fosse in vacanza per farla finita. Aveva detto che avrebbe fatto così e così ha fatto. Ha lasciato pagine di istruzioni e scatole di regali per gli amici. Ha prelevato i soldi necessari per il trasporto della salma. E poi si è impiccato.
Al memorial la nostra amica Felicia ha letto un pezzo su David scritto da lei, e per fortuna che Sebastian ad un certo punto si è messo a cantare “Oh Oh Bah Bah Bah” e ho dovuto portarlo fuori perchè grondavo lacrime come un temporale tropicale. Il pezzo è allegato qui sotto. È in inglese, tradurlo mantenendo lo stile di Felicia sarebbe stato impossibile. Come lei sia riuscita a leggerlo mantenendo il sorriso sulle labbra rimane un mistero.
David Megaw
by Felicia Hunt
April 25, 2005
Over the last year I have had the pleasure of getting to know David Woods Alexander Megaw. David was my colleague here at the college. David was also my friend.
At the college, David and I worked on assessment issues together. Over the last few days, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the work we did. We attended meetings together, traveled together, took coffee breaks together, and worked on projects together.
I have also had time to think about the time I spent with David socially. We went to movies, we went to parties, we spent time at Black Coral and we went boating. It is from all these experiences that I learned two very important things about David:
David was a gentleman and a gentle man.
David was a real gentleman.
A gentleman is someone who is well-mannered, considerate and proper. David was all of these. David was also charming: He opened doors, offered people help, and knew everyone’s name. David made people feel like they were the most special person in the room. When David was around, his smile grabbed your attention. It was infectious.
David had a smart sense of humor. His wit was one of his finest assets. While we were traveling to the other states, David gave the people we met nicknames. These nicknames were not just funny – they were also cute. I think one person was named Happy, another Sleepy, and still another was named Cyrano – can you guess why? He chose his names from literature or movies or from a story they told.
I am not sure what my nickname was – but he teased me about talking too much. I can only imagine that David is somewhere thinking to himself…I wish that “Chatty Cathy” would just sit down and stop talking about me. David was embarrassed by public recognition.
David cared so much for the people around him. David made friends wherever he went including the bank, the gas station, the Cliff Rainbow, the college, the Last Stop, and the Rusty Anchor. He had inside jokes with all. He loved teaching and working with students. A strong paper from a student would make his day. A compliment from an administrator or a faculty member was an honor – although he celebrated all compliments privately.
David loved traveling, he was an avid reader, a big tipper and I am told a great cook. I remember being in a room with a number of women not too long ago. David walked in and chatted with all of us. I am not naming names – but when David left the room, all the ladies giggled. No one ever confessed the real reason for the burst of laughter – but it was no secret. David was a handsome man. His presence was not just a result of his great looks, but the fact that he was a gentleman throughout.
David was also a gentle man. A gentle man is someone who is kind, considerate, and tender-hearted. All these words define David Megaw. David had a heavy heart and hated to see people hurt. He was an ethical person who lived his values. He stuck up for all people and, according to one of his friends, always kept things “high brow.” I remember a long chat David and I had about homophobia. He hated hearing about all the hate in this world.
David had a gentle style with people. For example, when David and I talked about our work at the college, he would tease me. He always said I was worth more than a few dollars per day . . . but not much more.
David’s humor was not just sweet, but also dry. When we went shopping in Guam, we stayed at the mall for hours and hours. At every shop, I would try on clothes and buy things. Obviously bored, David would sit on the bench and read. At one point I said: “Hey David, great news – the stores do not close tonight until 8:00.”
David then looked at his watch and noted in his fine Queen’s English: “If we are to be here until 8:00 this evening, I will need to buy more books.”
David once lent me his extensive movie collection. David knew that I compulsively cry during sad movies. Knowing that I was already homesick during the holidays, he wanted me to be well aware of those movies that would require more than two boxes of Kleenex. I appreciated his rating system. And, while some people rent DVDs based on the American rating system that uses the PG, Pg-13, or R categories, I now watch movies based on David’s very personalized and caring labels. He was gentle in that way.
One day, David shared with me a recorded call that he had analyzed for his dissertation. The call had been made from a frantic mother to an emergency operator. The recording started with the mother crying into the phone that her newborn baby wasn’t breathing. The operator on the other end of the call delivered instructions over the phone that helped the mother administer care to her baby. At the end of the recording, the baby began crying – which indicated that the baby had been saved.
David analyzed this recording as part of his master’s degree. When David and I listened to this recording, we both cried. I know David had heard this recording many, many times – after all his dissertation was over one hundred pages – but the tenderness of this recording still touched him. His response touched me. David received honors for this paper.
David was a gentleman and a gentle man. While all gentlemen are expected to open doors, small acts like that were more an example of David’s ability to be a gentle man than just a polite person. He cared about people in a way that was sincere, supportive, thoughtful, generous, ethical and real.
One of the highest compliments anyone could receive was to have David Megaw as a friend. I feel comfortable speaking for all of us when I say: We will miss him.